Multipockets: Hi, Mr. Former President, … …
Pocket Billiards: What? Former President? What former president?
Multipockets: With all due respect, you are not the president anymore. Unfortunately, Double Pockets won the presidential race by making all our predictions wrong. Not only that, his merry men and women won the race to the House and the local government bodies as well. Come the Provincial Councils, even if they lose another two or three million votes more, they will still be the winners, if they become brave and foolish enough to hold the elections.
Pocket Billiards: Enough! Call me Mr. President! That’s how they call the former American presidents in America, even after they leave the office!
Multipockets: President or not, why are you still clinging to politics, er… Mister President? Isn’t it high time you quit?
Pocket Billiards: Ha! Ha!! Ha!!! They have been telling me this since 1999. Yet for all, endless humiliating defeats didn’t stop me from becoming the President in 2022, did they? I must try once again. I have one more term left. Besides, where else can I eat 40-million-rupee worth of cashew nuts free of charge?
Multipockets: Oh, God! So, you want to contest in 2029? Even though Mr. Double Pockets is messing up big time now, I don’t think that is a good idea. You will be 80 by then.
Pocket Billiards: Are you kidding? I ain’t going to contest in 2029. Even recently, that bloody Al-Jazeera dug up Batalanda bones. I must wait till Netanyahu razes them to the ground. With the rate he is going at now, he would, at any time now, it seems. But people are still scared of me. Double Pockets will be history by 2029, and we need someone to mount a challenge against Mr. I-Don’t-Know-the-Law, the eldest of the Infamous Three Idiots. Even though his entire clan was flatly rejected by the voters, he is back in the House, just like I did in 2021. With the way Double Pockets is playing the fool ever since he took over from me, chances are that Mr. I-Don’t-Know-the-Law will be cunning enough to fool the 6.9 million voters once again by 2029. We need to put a faster horse than him to run the country for the five years beyond 2029. Someone whom I can control. Someone who has none of his own brains, ideas, or policies. In short, a real idiot.
Multipockets: Finding idiots in politics is the easiest thing to do in this world, Mr. President. You could start with I-Don’t-Know-the-Law himself when it comes to the professional idiocy. But you can’t control him for sure. Well, who do you have in mind?
Pocket Billiards: What about that chap, Humpty Dumpty from Uva, whom I nearly put in trouble while trying to help him when he was in remand?
Multipockets: What? That overweight, fleshy, fat moron of an MP?
Pocket Billiards: That’s the dude. He could be a moron, but he secured his seat when all those brainiacs in the opposition parties lost, didn’t he? He is a maverick in foolish voters’ eyes. He is loyal to me. He talks clamorously in the House. But he is the center of attraction on TV, radio, newspapers, and social media every day the House is convened. He could be my man.
Multipockets: Well, he is vociferous and gets all the attention, but he is no Daniel Webster, Mr. President.
Pocket Billiards: No, he is not! But he is presidential material. If someone like Double Pockets could make it to the Presidential Palace, any idiot can. Besides, all I need is to have some chaps whom I can trust to hold the fort interchangeably till 2064.
Multipockets: 2064? I can understand the significance of your ridiculous 2048 goal you set yourself to develop the Paradise Island by then, but what is the big deal about 2064, Mr. President?
Pocket Billiards: Do the maths! I will be 115 by then, and I will still have the final five years of my life to be the President of this Island of Idiots, not to mention the unlimited supply of free cashew nuts.
